How they go hand in hand when you are navigating spirituality.
Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. Lao Tzu
One of the most beautiful truths to accept when navigating this spiritual journey is when you are building a relationship with GAWD, All caps GOD, the MOST HIGH FREQUENCY and you realize you can do no wrong. I recognize that is completely the opposite from what many of the books tell you but i’ll clarify what I mean as you read. First I encourage you to acknowledge the depth of words. Particularly English words. Spirit comes from the latin word spiritus which means breath and many of our Enu in you glish words are derived from Latin, French, and Greek. The suffix ality means quality, state, or degree. Giving us “quality of breath” in layman’s terms. Spirituality is in all practices even if popular texts and society don’t mention it.
I have a lot of experience with addiction and trauma. The trauma gets passed down through adults we encounter that have not been taught how to express emotion; they internalize lack of emotional intelligence. They likely grew up with fear of communication thinking if they express themselves they would be yelled at or worse resulting in lack of communication skills. This is a commonality in areas with a poverty mindset. The reiteration of trauma and the inability to properly cope due to a lack of effective coping mechanisms creates the generational trauma we hear so much about and many of us have chosen to put an end to. Oftentimes the lack of coping mechanisms leads to the repression of our emotions. When repression becomes too hard to handle naturally, we tend to turn to substances that assist with that repression and have other bodily sensations. Which is where the addiction comes in. If we are constantly treated as though our voices are not meant to be heard, and our emotions are too much to deal with, not only do we become addicted to the feeling of being treated that way but we become addicted to what we use to “feel better” about it. In this case feeling better is just not feeling. The thing about not feeling, is we forget that it was something that hurt us that led to the actions we end up taking.
A vicious cycle of “you’ll get over it because I did” when healing is not about getting over anything but about going through it to recognize who it is you are. We are more breath than flesh and in the times we’ve known, the texts that are readily available have failed to make that clear. We have been given a series of words made available as a story that each individual experience can decipher in different ways based on their inherited beliefs. By inherited I refer to the ideas we have heard so often that we think about them enough to believe they are true. Bringing me full circle to the quote at the beginning of this blog. Our thoughts when we are in a state of repression, depression, or anxiety are in fact not our thoughts. We have accepted the ideas of others and internalized them by thinking them over and over again. For example, if your parents have a harsh way of speaking to you, and call you names, or are constantly passing judgement it is more than likely someone treated them like that. And in many cases it is a person they looked for approval from. Creating a narrative; that is how you show you care. On top of that, those texts I mentioned and a version of society falsely garnered the idea that we are required to accept how others treat us especially if they are someone we care about, for fear of being misunderstood. However one of the most common responses of trauma is people pleasing. We want to be accepted by the person we seek approval from and care about, and in turn begin to change ourselves based on how we feel misunderstood. This is another way that repression and depression can become prevalent in one’s life. Essentially it is ignoring the heart to be someone they are not. Our hearts are an important organ and when neglected can cause a great deal of pain; however, although one is constantly numbing the pain and trying to get over it, that does not take the pain away. It just builds the pain up and makes it harder to manage. Eventually requiring said person to use more and more until they stop.
In order to avoid the vicious cycle or go through it to get out, I practice honoring the past in order to be the version of yourself you want to be in the future. I used the word honoring because to honor in the dictionary is “honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions” “a source of credit or distinction” “high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank” and in all of our situations our effort to exist amongst one another deserves respect. Every experience faced has given us something to take as we move on in our lives. In order to use what we have been given, we have to be able to acknowledge what we went through. Then we can analyze it enough to say “that helped me realize this about myself”. Whether it is something you want to change or something you’d like to keep and do more of is up to you, however you can’t take anything if you attempt to get over whatever it is. You just might forget. And there is a quote that goes “Those who forget are the happiest.” However I find that those who remember and forgive are wisest, wealthiest, and honored by the divine; If that’s not happy, put me on.
I love you x Infinity
Affinity